Vision

I woke up early this morning once again to, I Will Rise. Then, I fell back asleep just an hour or so later, to wake up to it again. I guess that is what is compelling me to go on and blog right now. To share. Here are the words to the chorus again:
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
(I'll never forget the great amount of peace I had when Kevin sang this at Cody's service, it was as if I could imagine this happening for Cody with my very eyes...I felt, much happiness. Much thankfulness. Joy.)
In my blog, Last Days, I shared many, many details. I still have yet to share any of all that was said to Cody, as I am still not ready for that yet. But, something else that I didn't share, I will share now.
Not long after my alone time with Cody on that Sunday night, whenever I shared with you the nurse offering morphine, to which I said no because Cody didn't appear in any kind of pain and I knew that would be it for his blood pressure for sure.... I think part of the reason for her offering was because Cody had became different. I know that everyone just wanted him to be relaxed and calm. And, then she did give him ativan as I shared before.
Well, Cody started raising forward, even with the vent and all attachments and reaching out with his left hand... Then, we would tell him it was ok, just to take it easy, relax... and he would lay back down... BUT, not for long. Then, he would again, raise forward with his eyes wide open (which before the vent was placed he already told us he could not hardly see again- I wasn't sure if this was from the chemo again or if he was possibly having any bleeding behind his eyes?)... As Cody would raise forward, with his eyes wide open and reach, all I can tell you is, he could see! Even WITH the ativan, this continued. He didn't seem like anything bad... He was calm, peaceful... I believe he was ready to go with the angel... He looked as though in such wonder and I can only imagine what he was seeing... This happened not long before Cody took his last breath here on this earth...
I say not long and it wasn't really. I stood there by his side for hours and hours and even at the time, it felt like so short, like not long enough...Everything was happening fast, way too fast! And, I say "way too fast" from our perspective, but for Cody, probably not fast enough... He was ready. We were just not ready to let him go. Nonetheless, he is in a far much better place than here... "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

"so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

The Coming of the Lord
"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep with him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words." 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

With Hope- Steven Curtis Chapman

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope