Memories...

In September while Cody was on the ventilator, I started asking those who came to see him if they wanted to leave him a note and then I would share them with him. I was placing them on poster boards because there for a while, I thought I may need to hang them up in the room for decorations, but Cody couldn’t see due to the chemo, so I would just read them to him. I came across the poster boards this evening and here are just a few of the messages:

Cody
Hang in there Buddy! God’s on our side.

Cody,
Hey man came to check on you Bro! I tried to wake you up but I think you’re pretty tired man. I hope you get to feeling better man. I just have to say hang in there and keep your head up Buddy! Always think positive dude. I have been trying to get some money to help you guys out. Well man love ya and hang in there buddy.

Cody, I hope you continue to get better, can’t wait til you get home & we can have a cook-out.

Cody,
Sure been praying for you. Hope you get better soon.

Cody,
I admire you always coming with Melissa when we got together with the girls from the bank to eat.
So you get better so we can do it again.
You’re in my prayers continually along with other people from my church & my family who keep praying for you.

Then, I came across so much more stuff! Many of you have seen the small little scrapbook I made for Cody, well, I found a larger one that I made for him. Wow! So many memories!!!

We had thrown Cody a surprise 16th birthday party at the house. We went to the Haunted Castle in Muskogee. Then, there’s some pics of him that I had forgot I even had!

There is a page with me and Nancy and part of his truck in the background. (the black one with the lime green on it) These are some little things I wrote down; Nancy you’ll remember all of this well : )

O-TOWN
Waiting forever for them to come on stage…
Nancy wanting you to pick her up!
You dancing pretty close!!
Listening to K-Ci & JoJo “Crazy”
Cruisin’ in the black truck!
Vroom-vroom
Almost went to Applebee’s, but way too many people!
El Chico!
What a FUN night!

Then, on the next page I have memories of Rodeo of the Ozarks and Bell’s. I saved the wristband from Bell's and wrote: I had so much fun! I'm glad you went with us! (The Ferris Wheel)
I saved the ticket from where we went to the Rodeo of the Ozarks with his dad.
July 4, 2001 Wednesday 8:00 pm
I jotted down:
You driving… big crowd… getting food for me and your dad… the one armed bandit…later getting a chance to look at pictures… (Old “Ashes!”)… your dad laughing…

On another page beside a pic of Janelle & I:
Me and Janelle getting stuff ready for graduation. This was the night you came by like at midnight. Remember being over by the desk, checking out the new stereo and playing with the ball…

I have a ton of movie stubs saved and in the scrapbook. One of the first ones is when the night movie cost only $6.75 per person. This particular scrapbook was part of his Valentine’s Day gift in 2002. The dates we watched movies (& kept stubs) were:
8/4/00
8/11/00
3/16/01
5/18/01
6/8/01
7/27/01
8/3/01
8/10/01
8/21/01
9/21/01
10/19/01
11/9/01
11/16/01
11/23/01
11/30/01
12/7/01
12/21/01
1/25/02
2/4/02

Then a pic of me in the Mustang on my first cruise night, driving, and Cody of course with me! That was in Grove, OK We had so much fun that night!!!

Then I made a page of pictures… I did not make copies, so these are the only ones I have and of course, had forgotten about them until I seen them… Aw… more memories!

A pic of me and a pic of Cody the night he proposed! He was so crazy! He had tried just flat out telling me in a note… asking me…

(Note: When I share Cody’s notes, I am doing spelling, etc, so you all know. He was dyslexic, so writing/reading was challenging for him…)

9/24/01 2:08 am

Baby,

I love you!! True true I really do.
Fi
Will
you
marry
me?

Melissa Pickering
&
Cody Pickering

Love
Cody

I will love you forever

P.S. Ring
I am getting one

Then, remember in a few entries back where I shared how we celebrated monthly anniversaries for almost the first 2 years of our marriage? Well, I came across some of his notes to me. Here’s one:

Happy Anniversary
I love you

Dear Melissa

Happy one year and 3 months! I was thinking today that I was only 18 when we got married. Now I am 20. It seems longer than 1 year and 3 months doesn’t it to you? Everybody says you will never make it. Now they see that we made it. Now they say when are you going to have a baby? And I think what are you stupid? Yeah, we are going to have a baby when we have a house. Some people think when you get married you should just have a baby, but that is them. But we have plans. So in about 4 years we will have a baby. After you get your college. Sounds like a plan, huh? I’ll love you for the rest of my life.

Cody William

Here's another note to me:

Happy Birthday (all around this he drew balloons and confetti)

Dear Melissa,
I hope you like your birthday cake. I wish I could get you something you wanted but I know what you want most is a loving husband, someone who takes care of you and I have been doing a bad job of that lately. It is funny now that we are all grown up. We used to have so much fun. Now-a-days it is school and school and stress for you. I will try to make it less stressful for you. I wouldn’t have a life if I didn’t have you.
Happy Birthday Melissa
Your
Loving
Husband
Cody

I came across several cards, too. This is the one that I gave him just last year on our anniversary:

For the Wonderful Man Who Shares My Life

It’s hard for me to express what first drew me to you. Maybe it was you gentle voice or the way your smile warmed my heart.
It may have been the easy way we talked together or the delight I felt when we first joined hands.
As I look back, I remember feeling the wonder of love… a love that has grown so strong that I feel I could never love you more.
You are the joy in my life, and I thank God each day for bringing us together. He has given me so much in giving me a husband like you.
I love you.

Cody-
I will never forget the moment that I first realized my love for you! And, I’m so happy to say, “Happy 6-year anniversary!” Love, Fi

‘08

This is the letter I typed him and placed in the card:

Dear Cody,
Today is our 6-year anniversary! In some ways that is hard to believe and in other ways, it isn’t. We have been through so much since our wedding day. We had our rough times, but thank God we have made it through everything and are still together and more importantly, even more in love. You are my best friend! I feel as though I can share anything with you and I know you will always be there for me. I would write you a letter, but since my hand is still having trouble (due to the pregnancy) it probably wouldn’t turn out very good, so I decided to type this instead. Zane is our little miracle. I love him so much! And, I know you do, too. I loved our time when it was just me and you, but now after having a family with you, I would never go back. I wouldn’t trade this for the world! I can’t wait until Kadee is here, too. You are a good dad! That really means a lot to me and since we’ve heard other stories of different people and situations, I can appreciate you even more and I hope that you realize just how important it is for you to be there for your kids. I hope we have a good evening out. I wish I felt better but being with you, I will be fine. I can’t believe I’m so huge, haha! But, all worth it, though. So far today hasn’t really seemed like our anniversary- like you said- and I know we have just been doing what we would normally do, but tonight will be just me and you for awhile and that will be special. I really hope we have a good time and I hope you know how much that I do love you. The world is a rough place right now and times are hard and some people are falling apart and families are falling apart and people are in really bad spots and just giving up, but I’m glad that I know that as long as we have each other, we can figure our own way. We will make it. We will be fine. When we got married and Uncle Larry said, that even if the whole world is against you, at least you will have each other. That is you and me. I take things very seriously and for me to marry you, means more than anything. I meant every word and I will be with you and love you forever. I can’t imagine my life without you. I hope I never have to know what that is like. So, even if from the outside people think we may not have much- if they only knew, we have everything! I am blessed in many more ways than any money could ever buy! I have you, I have Zane and I have this baby in my tummy and as long as we have that- what more could we really ever ask for. I am thankful every day for this! I hope we only continue to love each other more as time goes by. I hope I make you as happy as a wife should make her husband. I don’t know what else to say right now- I better just end this letter. I’ve got myself crying now… I’m sure part of it is hormonal, haha, but part of it is just happy tears.
I love you Cody!
You are my one and only true love!
You are my best friend!
Always yours,
Melissa (Fi)

Cody: I miss you and love you so much!!! You are here in my heart! Always. You are on my mind, constantly. You will never be forgotten!

I’m going to end this post with this:

If you’re feeling sad and lonely, there seems to be nothing you can do,
Just take courage and remember, there is someone needing you.
You were created for a purpose, for a part of God’s great plan,
Bear ye one another’s burdens, so fulfill Christ’s law to man.
Are you a father, son or daughter? You’re work none else can do.
Are you a husband, wife or mother? There is someone needing you.
There are many sad and lonely, and discouraged, not a few.
Who a little cheer are needing, and there’s someone needing you.
Someone needs your faith and courage; Someone needs your love and prayer;
Someone needs your inspiration, thus to help their cross to bear.
Do not think your work is ended, there is much you can do,
And as long as you’re on earth, there is someone needing you.
(Author Unknown)