1-2-3-4 Cody

Lying next to you
Listening to the beat of your heart
Wanting to stay this way
Never wanting to part.

Breathing when you breathe
Watching you close your eyes
I could lay in your arms like this forever
And never say goodbye.

You softly kiss my lips
And I reach to touch your face
You pull me even closer
I love the feel of your embrace.

I wish that you could tell me
You'd always feel this way
But instead I just want
To enjoy this day by day.

I won't ask you the world
I'm definitely not in a rush
I want to take my time
Just being in love.

To: Cody From: Melissa 6/15/01 (To think, we were married 6/8/02...)

Cody,
I am absolutely missing you like crazy! I'm sitting here going back over all of the notes I have written you... Wow! I have a whole binder full in front of me at this very moment. As I go through each one, a smile tends to creep across my face usually followed by great sadness... How can you really be gone? How can this be "it"?
It's so funny to see where we had came from to where we were...
From a note 10/8/00:
Thanx for being real. You're crazy and fun and you're my friend. Always have fun! What I mean by "real" is you say what you want and do what you want and you live life fully. You're not a fake. You're a good person. Someone will come along and they'll fall in love with you. They'll love you for who you are. Stay true to yourself. (and to think that "someone" was me!)....
Here's another- 11/7/01:
Dear Cody,
I love you so much... I love you with all my heart! Don't ever forget that. I love it when you smile, even though you don't always like to show off your teeth. I love it when you hold me. I love it when you kiss me like there's no tomorrow. I love it when you hold my hand. I love it when you say "I love you" with your eyes. I love your taste in rings : ) I love it that you feel so comfortable around me. I love it when you laugh. I love it how you seem so protective of your "baby girl." I love it when you put your arm around me. I love the way you can read my mind sometimes. I love how you make me fall in love with you all over again. I love how true of a friend you have been to me. I love you for the person you make me want to be. I love you for wanting to share your life with me! I love you!
All yours,
Melissa
and now here is this:

December 4, 2001 11:50 pm.
By: Melissa Gail To: Cody 'A poem just for you'

All of my life
I wanted someone like you
To accept me for who I am
And show me a love that's true

All of my life
I wanted to be loved like I deserve
And I started to wonder
If it was ever going to be my turn

Then, there you were
I thought you were only my friend
But in my heart, I knew better
And felt that you were someone God would send

We've laughed and cried together
And I wouldn't want it any other way
Because where you are, there I am
And that's where I'll stay

Could I love you more than I do today?
Yes, because I love you more than yesterday
And my love will grow with every breath I take
For you, my life I would pay

Because of you I know how beautiful I am
I see it when I look in your eyes
I know that we will always be
So I have no worry of goodbyes

How could I ever turn away from my soulmate
The one who makes me complete
The one who gives me reasons to live
And my heart a reason to beat

Love is no longer a mystery to me
Love is... me and you
If you ever need anything, just ask
And that's what I'll do

Bad times will come and go
But our love will always remain
If you need a hug or to be held
All you have to do is say my name

All of my life I've been waiting
You're better than I could've wished for
This dream is just beginning
And I can't wait for more

The best part is that it's not a dream
This is really my life
I absolutely cannot wait
Until I get to hear you call me wife : )

Our wedding day will come
And we'll start a life brand new
As soon as we say our vows
And then get to say, "I do"

How did I ever get so lucky
To find my one true love?
I am blessed and know it's because
We're being watched from up above

All of my life... is just about to start
And it begins with you
Cody, you have my heart, you are my heart
All of my love is for you.

"I love you"
XOXO
Forever yours,
Melissa
"Fi"

March 2002

Dear Cody,
This is for you~ the one I love...
I have never had such a closeness with anyone else. You mean everything to me. My life would be empty without you. I need someone who wants to share my good days and be there for me on my bad days. You are my best friend and probably one of the greatest people I will know in my life. I wish that everyone could see you the way I see you. Every time I look at you, I am reminded that you are my one true love and most times I wonder if anyone else has been so lucky as to know a love like this. You know me so well. Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself. The way your eyes look so tenderly at me, I feel like I am the most special person and I feel so blessed to have found my best friend and the love of my life all in YOU! All of the times we have shared, ever since the beginning, I shall cherish as long as I live... You bring out the best in me (and you've seen the worst), but that person you love so much is thanks to you because with you is when I'm most happiest of all : ) Your love forever changes me. I must say, I don't think there is anyone in my life who has made such an impact on me as you have. You have taught me the meaning of being a true friend. You have expressed unconditional love. You have lifted my spirits so many times when I have needed it. You have accepted me- just the way I am. You have done more for me than words could ever say. I am about to the point where it's hard to express how much you mean to me because I could never do enough to let you know the deepest depths of my love for you. I have never wanted something as much as I want to share my life with you. My heart aches when I'm not with you, and when I am with you, I know what it is like to truly live.
XOXO
My heart is yours,
"Fi"

Now that I have been crying my eyes out, Cody, I just am in awe of how that note sums up everything! And, then when I realized I wrote it in March, 7 years ago... Oh, my heart is in so much pain! Cody, this is never how we imagined... we dreamt of growing old together... In so many ways I don't feel cheated because we made the most of every moment we had together, but this pain I have is so great that I don't know how to go on? I don't know how I'm supposed to live without you? I can only imagine what you would be like had this been reversed... You gave me so much love that I am still overflowing with it from you. Thank you. I miss you and I love you- more than words! 1-2-3-4!