Cards

Now to share some of what I came across last week...

First of all- oh my gosh! Nancy, I came across the very first card from Cody... the one to you and me for Christmas! Remember? In Mrs C's class! It has a little teddy bear with a santa hat and scarf on plus a Christmas tree on the front of the card. On the inside it says Merry Christmas already, so Cody added and a happy new year Melissa and Nancy and then he drew an arrow to the other side and said, and have a good break love Cody Aw.... I'll have to show it to you sometime : )

On our 2nd year anniversary, Cody got me a card and I'll share with you part of the card itself since he emphasized parts of it.

When thanking the Lord
for His blessings,
I thank Him especially for you,
Because of our wonderful marriage
And the sweetness
of all that you do.
No blessing could ever be greater,
And I thank Him with all of my life
That you're my companion
and helpmate,
My friend, my sweet blessing (Cody added here, my life)
my wife.

This is what he wrote to me:
Happy Anniversary!
Can you believe that we had so much fun on our two year anniversary. Just think of all the good stuff that we got. That we wouldn't have gotten if it wasn't our anniversary. This one was good. I had a lot of fun.
I love you
Cody

He doodled hearts all around it and of course, (1) (2) (3) (4)

In my birthday card:

Happy Birthday
22 years old
"I love you"
Cody
P.S.
I love you with all of my heart and soul (smiley face)

In a Valentine's Day card he wrote:

Happy Valentine's Day my love
I hope we can do something fun tonight. I think you will like your stuff.
With all my love.
I love you.
Love
Cody

The year we got Precious he signed my birthday card from the both of them, Precious and Cody ( I had to smile so big when I came across that one!)

Cody usually emphasized things in cards... underlined them.
On our 4th anniversary, he made sure I noticed the following:

My heart was full
when I first promised
to love, honor, and cherish you forever...
yet that feeling was
so very different from
the rich, deep connection
that now joins my soul to yours.

What I feel now goes beyond love
and friendship, even though
I lack the words to express it.
I love you more than ever.
Thank you for sharing my life.

And he wrote to me:

Being with you is the best thing that ever has happened. Happy Anniversary
A wonderful 4 years
Love Cody

Oh yeah, Nancy- I have the very first card Cody received from us too. I definitely got to show you these!

In 2001, I made Cody a card for Thanksgiving:

I know that I gave you a card already, but homemade ones are the best kind. I'm not even sure where to start.... There is so much to say, more than I could ever write, but I hope each time you look in my eyes you see to the depths of me and feel how much I love and care about you. Thanks for being there for me and for teaching me the true meaning of love. Love isn't like a fairytale. Love isn't simple. Love is something to work at to make even better and with you, it is worth every effort. I am so thankful for you. God will help us. He will listen to our prayers, we just have to trust and believe. Believe Cody, with all of your soul. It will be worth it. All of my love to you. Always.

A card I made to Cody for his 18th bday:

Dear Cody,
We have so many great memories! You are a true friend- a best friend!! I believe that what we have would not be the same without our friendship. Friends are forever, so maybe when friends fall in love, then their love is forever. I enjoy being with you. Thank you for all you've done. I hope that this is only the beginning. I want your birthday to be special. "Happy 18th"
Love,
Melissa

(With the lyrics to Back At One on the left side of the card)

Just because card:

You're right. We can't change the past. It happened, it's over with. We have today and it is beautiful because any day with you is that way. We have a future together, but we have right now and we should never take it for granted. When you said that I was beautiful on the inside that touched my heart in a way that I can't express with words. I want you to know that you are, too. You are so great!! Believe me because it is true! You are the best... I love you more every day. The more that I am with you, the more I'm convinced that we're meant to be. There is no one else like you and no other love could be as strong as ours. I believe in us and I know that we can make it through anything. Cody, I love you. Look in my eyes and feel it in your heart.
Love,
"Fi"

To: Cody William

I am so thankful for you. You are a great person. Someone who I can just be myself with and that is enough.

We have so many fun memories. I will never forget any of them. We have been really crazy sometimes... especially you!!

My life wouldn't be the same without you. Definitely not as exciting. You give me something to look forward to.

I thank God for putting you in my life. I'm glad that our friendship has grown into such an amazing love. I know that you're there if I ever need anything.

I could spend endless amounts of time with you. My whole life doesn't even seem like long enough.

I want to apologize to you because I started to let little things get in the way of what is most important to me- and that's YOU!

I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU! and I want you to be HAPPY!!! You are such a special part of my life. I want to go through life with you, not without you.

Forgive me for all of my "not-so-perfect" qualities and I promise I will continue trying to be a better person. For God, for myself and for us.

I love you and that's what truly matters and I do appreciate everything you do. I extremely appreciate all that you're doing so that we can have a life together.

To your heart from mine:
Melissa Gail

Among all of the cards, I found the many from "September". I think there were a little over 30. I came across one that I gave him 9/28/08.

On the front there is a big star and it says You're a star!

On the inside: Congratulations!

I signed it:

I love you- more than words!!!
"Fi"

What I wrote on the left side was this:

We are all so proud of you for making a lap around the hallway!! Woo-hoo!

That was the first day that he made an entire lap all the way around the hallway with the walker and I was next to him every step of the way with my dad and the physical therapist right there in case he were to fall. The nurses were smiling and so happy! -Commenting on how well he looked, how amazed they were! He took a break a few different times and then kept pressing forward. When we turned the corner and had the last of the hallway to go down back to his room, he felt it was far... which in his condition, it was. He took a deep breath and kept going... stopped about halfway, took another deep breath... then he sped up to finish and made it to his destination! I was so very proud of him. EVERYONE was! He almost died and there he was strolling around the hall. Praise God!

I want to share this- for some reason, on May 8th... it dawned upon me, the 8th... our anniversary day... Early on you know we shared monthly anniversaries for almost 2 years, then every now and then would surprise each other on the 8th of any given month. That day does hold special significance to me. I remember it crossing my mind that he was going to die on that day... the 8th. I really thought he would... I think everyone expected him to. As we all know, he didn't. He died on the 9th, just because it was 7 minutes after midnight. I thank God for this because I do believe it is a blessing to me. (Thank you God)

I'm going to end this entry with another card that I made for Cody. I remember designing it- picking out all the little details. It has a picture on the front of a man and woman at a table in a restaurant with a big gift box on the table. The waiter is coming "our" way and there is a man playing the violin. "We" are gazing into each others eyes and holding hands. Now, to the inside:

HAPPY 3 YEAR 2 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!

Ya know, every time the 8th comes around, I always think of the day we got married. I know I used to give you a card every time, and now I have slacked off on that, but it doesn't mean I don't think about it. I just wanted to make you a little card today. Just so you would know that I'm thinking of you... and do often. Life is crazy! The world is crazy! But, we have each other!!! Here we are about to buy our first home and that is so exciting. Stressful, but exciting! That is a HUGE thing!!! To have a place of our own. We have been through a lot, ever since we've known each other. Love keeps us together. I think God wouldn't have let us unite, if we weren't "meant to be". I know we can really annoy each other sometimes, but at the same time, what would we do without each other?! I can't imagine my life without you in it. I may not be somebody great to anybody else, but I hope I am to you. I hope that you have learned something about true love by me being your wife. I hope that I have made a difference. As long as I have that, my life could end, and I would have accomplished something. The most important things in life are not those that can be bought, but the things that make us feel. Love is priceless. True happiness is priceless. To have happiness and love, would be worth more than any amount of money that someone could offer in this world. To die and go to heaven, and be together for all eternity... that is the greatest gift, the greatest blessing of all. I love you, and always will. For as long as I live.
8/8/2005

Cody,
Just thinking and remembering ... treasuring all times... the good and the bad... our ups and downs... our love and everything that came along with it! I wish we had so much more... I miss you incredibly! Right now, I will cling to these special memories. As I told you so many times... I will never forget any of them. And, I never could imagine my life without you and it sucks! It just sucks! I say that so much and mean it! I don't even know how to express this. Most of my thoughts go back to September, especially today when I learned of another miracle! I read some beautifully written words and cried my eyes out. I praise God and still thank Him for your miracle- our miracle! I thank Him for Zane and Kadee because I don't know what I'd do without them. God heard our prayers and answered them... all of the many prayers that were said on your behalf. God heard our prayers this time... He just has a plan and for reasons that He has, it was time to call you home. You and I talked about this though... and even though you couldn't recall most of September, I know what I witnessed. I think a part of you just "knew" it, too. I know how many times you told me that you were ready and some of the time, wished you were in heaven. Darrell shared with me some how close to God you were on that Friday night... the night when things started turning downhill... I know that you knew and I know that you were ready. I knew that when we talked that Friday night... You were the one telling me, trying to prepare me for what was to come. I know you were at peace. The whole experience of you dying... there were so many blessings throughout that whole time... things that "should have" happened, horrible things- never did. You were calm. You were peaceful. You were tired of this- you were tired and I believe that even though God heard our prayers and we hoped and prayed for another miracle, yet prayed for His will to be done... whatever that was... I know that God knew your heart and mind and He heard and listened to you! I believe that your prayers were answered! I love you so much. I am so thankful that you are not suffering any longer. You never wanted to go through again what you did in September and you know what, you didn't. God gave us each other. God will take care of me for the rest of my time here. He will take care of Zane and Kadee. He loves us, just as He loves you. I just wish this pain didn't seem so unbearable, but I know that I can do this. Look at everything you went through... I can do this, I can do this for you. My pain is as deep as our love. I would take this pain any day over having a choice to have lessened our love... no way! You're worth it.
I love you,
Fi