HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY KADEE! I LOVE YOU!
I will be writing you a letter. At your birthday party and by mail and e-mail, I hope to get more letters from everyone about how much your daddy loved you and what you meant to him : ) Sweet baby girl I can't believe you are already 1! I hope we have lots of fun at your party tomorrow!!! Can't wait to see you and your cake!
Cody,
Yesterday, mainly last night, I had my moments of flashbacks to one year ago. I never ever could have imagined or never a thought crossed my mind that you would not be here one year after our baby girl was born. I will make sure she knows how much you loved her! I will let her know everything. (Zane too!) We miss you and at times like this, we really really miss you! I feel very emotional, but now there is so much to that. Oh well... I learned a lot about living life from you the more and more I think about it! I'm trying. Against all odds or against all people, here I am. If you could only see Kadee now. I can see that smile on your face! You were always such a proud daddy! We have some amazing little ones!!! They are so precious to me.
When I was out at the cemetery a few days ago, I had such a heart to heart talk with you. It was like you were right there in front of me, although of course, it was something for me. I really shed the tears during that talk. It's so beyond description for me to explain how I still feel about you and the bond that is there. I don't see that ever changing! Our love was unlike any other.
I love you!
Fi
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