Happy New Year

Happy New Year!
2008 is behind us, even though so much of it carries on into this new year, 2009. I guess we had a bittersweet year overall. I don't really know what term to use. Our baby boy, Zane had his very 1st birthday in February '08. I had pregnancy complications and had to be on bed rest and very careful for some time and then had our healthy baby girl, Kadee, in June '08. Cody & I also celebrated our 6th year anniversary in June. My grandma was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor. She had surgery to remove all that they could and then started chemo and radiation to hopefully take care of the rest. Cody got diagnosed with leukemia and almost lost his life. Family, friends and complete strangers came together in such a way that I didn't ever expect or know possible. God gave me strength to face each moment, literally, and to much others amazement even though I knew and it was only, because of Him. God gave us a miracle and Cody came out of the depths of the deepest valleys and came home to be with us. God gave us a path to take, by word through an acquaintance and we are on it bravely and proudly and hopefully paving the way for others. www.myspace.com/tryingtomakeadifference God put little Hannah in our lives through word from a friend and directed us to her caringbridge site: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/hannahboles. Through Hannah's site, I learned of http://www.colesfoundation.com/ .
Through some of the hardest times of my life, I have drawn the closest to God. I said in my first entry that maybe at another time I could talk more about our children, our miracles. Cody and I were ready to start a family. The first time I seen that positive pregnancy test, I will never forget! And, I will never forget miscarrying that first time. Or the second. And, possibly the third time. I will never forget going to Wal-Mart and seeing baby after baby... pregnant woman after pregnant woman... every corner turned, there they were! I was about to fall apart, but then calmed myself down by realizing that those women and those babies would be in the store anyway. And, if it not for what I was going through, I probably wouldn't have even noticed so much. There was talk of us trying different options to have a baby. At that appt, I decided that if God meant for us to have children, then we would. We weren't going to try any other ways. I accepted that if it wasn't meant for us, then maybe we could look into adoption or something like that. Not long after that appt, I was pregnant- yet again. I had a lot of mixed emotions. I was monitored very closely during my whole pregnancy. Everything was right on track. I wanted to embrace everything about being pregnant because I realized how much of a blessing it was- how close I came to not ever being able to experience it. So, my friends thought I was crazy wanting to have morning sickness and happy about getting "fat", lol. Cody and I became very close to God during those miscarriages and during the pregnancy. We thanked Him every day for the baby growing inside of me, our baby. We didn't want to find out boy or girl- it didn't matter in any way, we just wanted a healthy baby! So, by wanting a surprise, we got more than we had expected. I had been feeling not quite right and had mentioned it to the Dr, but it was about the time in pregnancy where nothing was alarming. Cody and I had went to church and we ran by my mom's house on our way home just for a minute and I had to go to the bathroom and when I did, I continued "peeing" even when I was done and knew something wasn't quite right. I asked my mom what it was like when your water breaks and she couldn't help me out because with myself and my brother, she had to have her water broke. I call the hospital and because I was feeling so good they weren't too concerned, but said there was a little test they could do to see if my water really did break if I wanted to come on in. I actually was ready to just go home and my mom and Cody were freaking out and decided to take me on to the hospital. My mom followed, Cody was driving me just like how you see in the movies! I had to ask him to please slow down! He wanted to pull me up to the hospital doors, to which I informed him to just park, that I was going to walk, I was fine! There was a ton of paperwork, etc by the time we got to the sign-in desk. I felt the strong urge that I had to pee again, so I went to the bathroom and my mom had went in there with me and I washed my hands and then, gush! Ok, now I was convinced that my water had just broke! My mom told me to stay right where I was, she was getting me a wheelchair, to which I didn't want one and tried to argue, but she won. As soon as the nurse done her little swab test, it confirmed my water had broke. They wanted to check me and I was dilated to 4. This was Super Bowl Sunday, 2007. The nurses were amazed I wasn't feeling the contractions and in severe pain. They told me that most women with their first, at the point I was, without having anything, would be screaming. Oh yes, that reminds me, I had decided early on that I was doing this pregnancy naturally. No epidural. Maybe some pain meds if I really needed them, but nothing else. I felt like this baby was going to come and quick! We had the hardest time tracking down my dad. We were trying to let all of the family know the situation. I was given stuff to slow down the pregnancy. I was given injections to go to the baby for lung development. I survived through Sunday and Monday. They gave me some form of pain med on Monday and I had a severe allergic reaction to it. My body felt like it was on fire and tingly and I felt like my tongue was swelling and I was going to swallow it! The nurse came running in with something to counteract it. I was being monitored constantly. I was hooked up to so many things. They finally decided to let me try to get some rest before the big event, so they took me off of the monitors. One nurse joked that as soon as they did that, I would probably have the baby.... be careful what you joke about! I had told Cody and my dad to go back to our house and get some rest, that I was going to be fine and sleeping, too. My mom and my grandma were there in the hospital room with me. I was sleeping good and then woke up with a strong urge. The nurse ran in to check me and I had fell back asleep. Just a moment later, I woke up again with an even stronger urge. So, the nurse said she was just going to check me. I was 9. She wanted another nurse to check me to make sure she was right and by the time the next nurse came in, I was fully dilated, ready to go! This wasn't good because they had to call the neonatal team to come from a town about 45 min away. Not that far typically, but was in such a situation as this. I was telling my mom, CALL CODY, CALL CODY! My Dr showed up in the room and I was like, Cody's not even here yet! He told me he was sure he'd be there any minute. I was told I could NOT push. I had to wait on the team to arrive. Cody and my dad showed up. Did I tell you that I had never had Lamaze class yet? Cody and I were going to take classes staring that Tuesday night. I was due March 24th and again, this was only February 6th. The hardest thing I had to do, was not push, when everything in me was telling me to. I finally got to the point that I told them I HAD to push and I heard a nurse in the hall say, they're here! I was so relieved!!! The team had arrived. So, everything happened really quickly, but my mom and grandma were still in the room with me, Cody and my dad, my Dr, the baby's Dr, 2 nurses and then suddenly, a team of 4 people. They got me situated to where I could start pushing- they sat me up more and when they did, I couldn't feel contractions anymore! The Dr said it was because they moved my position, to just hold on a minute and when I started feeling the contractions, to push. An hour later, Cody was cutting the cord to our son and he started crying (what a joyous sound!) and was rushed over the the table with the team. I'm trying to soak in every single moment because they had already warned me of what could happen and I knew they'd probably be rushing off with my baby and these would be the only moments I could hold onto until I was discharged and able to be with him. All the while, I'm having problems myself and not even knowing it....I only needed a couple of stitches, but I was hemorrhaging. I had a severe amount of blood loss. I got to hold my son. I got to kiss his little nose! I tried watching as they left the room with him to go across the hall to do more tests, etc and it became just so bizarre to me that I had been listening to his heart beat on the monitor for so long and now I could actually see him and feel him. They got me stabilized and brought him back saying that he could stay at our hospital! He was fine! Zane 2/6/07 3:21 am 6 lbs 5 oz. 19 in. What? 6 lbs 5 oz... how big of a baby would I have had going full term? I discussed with the Dr, was there ANY way we were off on the due date, but that was not possible. Many nurses argued with him, that what they had witnessed could not be possible. The due date HAD to be wrong or something... Yes, something. Someone. God. Our son was truly a miracle! He had been from the very beginning! I was running on pure adrenaline! I never went to sleep... I was ready to get up and start walking... they thought it would be ok...this was a few hours after I had him, but they wanted me to go to the bathroom first, so I got off the bed and headed to the bathroom and the nurse followed and she was going to step outside the door, but I tried to warn her because I knew I was going to pass out... I came to- I was on the floor in the corner of the room, between the toilet and concrete wall, and nurses running into the bathroom and my husband's scared to death look on his face. Needless to say, they turned away visitors, closed my blinds, and shut the phone off and told me to rest. Cody took very good care of me. The next time they told me that I could try to get up and walk. Cody had such a tight grip on me, and literally walked step by step with me. By Tuesday night, Zane got to come and stay with us in the room for the first time. Within a few weeks after Zane's birth, I started having spells. The very first time it happened, I thought I was going to die. I had never been in so much pain. It was much worse than childbirth! It came and then it passed. The Dr's couldn't figure out for sure what was wrong with me. They had a few different ideas, but my symptoms didn't pinpoint a certain one. After several more episodes and a month of passing, I HAD to have help. I went to a different Dr, any Dr that could get me in that day. I then had an ultrasound done and found out it was my gallbladder. So, I had to have the first surgery in my life. Then, for a short time, I was limited as to what I could do. Then, as with all things, time passed and we got to living...
We weren't trying to get pregnant a second time. My idea had maybe been in 2 or 3 more years. We had been warned of different possibilities with another pregnancy. It came down to needing to take a pregnancy test and it was, you guessed it, positive! My husband and I just laughed and were in total shock! We kept it to ourselves for a few days and then we started to share. I don't know about him for sure, but I remained in shock for a long time. It was more like going through the motions with not a lot of feelings attached. Due date: 7/1/08. We decided we would find out this time, boy or girl. We'd always wanted one of each. We'd talked about having 2 kids, too, but none of this was as we had planned. Even at 23 weeks, I was still in shock! Things became real, quickly, when I started having complications. I ended up with gestational diabetes this time around. I was fighting infection after infection. From my blog: 4/5/08 So, for a while now I’ve been having a feeling.... a sense I guess of something.... And, no matter how many people tried to be optimistic and encouraging or brush me off even... the feeling wouldn’t go away. It’s so hard to explain... but I haven’t felt just right... not very good some of the time here lately... and knew something wasn’t right...
I’ve had to make so many extra Dr appts to keep up with things going on with me this time and this pregnancy. I was thinking, I would give anything just to get to go at my regular time when I’m supposed to. So, since battling this infection for over a month... I started thinking things were just part of the infection.
I ALMOST didn’t go to the Dr yesterday. Oh my! I’m really glad that I did. I had some troubles Thursday night. That was a rough night. I called and asked for the Dr to call me back Friday. He called me back, we talked.... I honestly didn’t plan on going to even see him at the time. Some other things came up during the next few hours after talking to him... and I called to see when they could get me in. I was told to be there at 3:30.
I go... I wait.... I get called back... do the usual.... go in the room... wait some more. Then, it’s time for an exam. Hm.... I could tell right away something wasn’t right. Then, hooked me up to a machine to see if I was having contractions... did that for about 15 minutes. Found out I was having contractions and dilated to a 1. So, we begin talk of going on to the hospital to get steroid shots for the baby, Kadee = ), .... but that maybe that wouldn’t be necessary either... let’s go to the ultrasound room and check out a few more things.
We go to the ultrasound room.... he does an ultrasound. Checks stuff out. Then does a vaginal one to measure my cervix again and check the amniotic fluid, as we had about 3 weeks prior to compare. Right away... I could tell, something wasn’t right again. I get to look at the screen and have things explained to me... and from the measurement before my cervix was 4 cm. Now, only 1.something, very thin. The other issue was an area, that he told me was referred to as "funneling" and the membranes were thinning as well, all things that happen right before going into labor. SO, now it was, You WILL go to the hospital and get the steroid shots and we will go from there. I knew I would be there at least 23 hours.
I told him I was going home first... to get a few things... to see Zane... to figure out a plan for Zane... etc. I was doing fine... until I got home and Zane was jabbering and smiling and came straight for me and wanting me to pick him up! I picked him up... held him... and lost it! I was so scared and worried for Kadee... and then Zane... I look at him and thought of what a miracle he was to us and IS every day... and I’ve NEVER been away from him... not like this! And... it all came down on me like a ton of bricks! Once I finally composed myself (my mom and dad were waiting to hear what was going on... not knowing what to do... not knowing why I was so upset) and I finally was able to speak, but not clearly... and when I started to say it all... I just lost it all over again!
So, I got calmed down.... told them what was going on... (I kept thinking I didn’t have much time because the hospital was expecting me!) I got focused, got what I needed to get... called my Grandma to come and stay at our house and take care of Zane. My mom drove me to the hospital... we got signed in.... went back to the room they had all prepared for me.... got my first steroid shot.... and hooked up to the machine. Still having contractions.
The nurse brings me the phone... Dr wants to talk to me. He went into everything.... but the main point was to get me started on something to stop the contractions. So, a pill every 6 hours. In just a few minutes, I had my first pill.
By this morning, the contractions had stopped... yay... and the focus was to get me to the evening to run a test that would pretty much say, yes, I was going to go on into labor... soon.... or no.... we have some more time. Because of the baby doing so well... and the contractions stopping... I was given more freedom. I got to take a shower.... sit in the chair, yay... I wasn’t confined to the bed anymore... And, I could walk around some! Well, of course, the night before and today... I had already talked to Zane quite a few times! Oh, missing him like crazy! So, I wanted him up there with me. I needed to see him. Of course, totally fine... just I can’t pick him up.
My dad brought him to the hospital. He got to stay for quite a while. My mom or dad handed him to me when he wanted me to hold him... I got to talk to him and love him and watch him play... Then, he got really sleepy and it was time for him to go home and get to his bed and take a nap. So, we parted ways and I told him... that hopefully I would get to come home later and if not, he would have to come see me tomorrow. I was sooooo glad to see him! = )
Things went pretty much like a whirlwind... I had maybe gotten 2 hours of sleep.... My adrenaline going crazy! My thoughts... my mind running overtime!
The outcome was I made it til the evening. They did the test... which is about 1 minute in all. The actual test, like 10 seconds, but getting me set up and all that. Real quick and simple! They sent it off and we were hoping for results in 2 hours. I thought those 2 hours would be the longest of my life... lol.... they absolutely flew by!
Dr’s on the phone.... wants to talk to me.... GOOD NEWS he says. The test was negative. Statistically.... etc, etc... proves... etc, etc... that we should at least have a couple weeks.... What this means... we’ve bought some time! (hopefully... no guarantee as he reminded me... because for all we know the baby could still come in 3 weeks, he said) I’m almost a month away from when Zane was born... at 32 weeks... I am ALMOST 28 weeks!
Outcome: I got to come home!!! (Yay, I can finally get some rest!) I am on moderate bedrest. I can pretty much hang out all day. Not do anything. No lifting. I can sit, some... then, need to lay down, some... alternate. I can walk around some... but not to be on my feet very much. I’m going to be seen weekly, starting at my appt Thursday of this coming week. (Unless something happens before then, or in between the scheduled weekly appts) I am continuing the pill every 6 hours from home. I am so glad I didn’t have to stay in the hospital. I am relieved to at least know Kadee isn’t coming RIGHT NOW!
I appreciate the prayers and thoughts! I couldn’t get in touch with everyone. Some of you know the jist of the story, but this is more of the details.
The funniest thing happened... the nurse just needed a 20 minute strip off the machine of baby’s heart rate and it took us over 2 hours to get 20 minutes. Kadee was kicking and somersaulting and moving and flipping and I don’t know what all! She was wearing me out! As soon as the nurse found the heart... she moved. It was like a game! I got so tickled! She’s very strong! My whole tummy was bouncing all around = ) I said... my goodness... isn’t she going to get tired and stop long enough that we can get this strip... and FINALLY she did... wore herself out and needed a break.... and we got the strip we needed.
It’s really just a day at a time. I’m thankful to be at home, back with my family and doing all I can do to take care of Kadee. Whatever it takes. It’s like, yes, we know she will come early... but we just don’t know when that time will be... and it’s not like a miracle can’t happen and she will wait. The second steroid shot I got tonight before I left the hospital.... so, thank goodness for that! The longer Kadee is in my tummy.... the better off she is.... whether it be we have 2 more weeks time or 2 more months time or 2 more days time..... every second makes a difference!
From my blog: 6/26/08- Well, it's been a week since our precious baby girl came into the world. I can't believe it! I was up this morning, in the wee morning hours... and was typing up the story of her journey into the world. I'm not even done yet, but what I did get done was already so long, no one would probably want to take the time to read it all I'm such a detailed person, lol!
To give a simple version: I went to my Dr appt last Wednesday before lunch. I had dilated more, but things were just happening slowly. I had not slept for 3 nights. I was hooked up to the monitor and was still having contractions and baby was fine. I was to come back at 4, to see what had changed, IF I made it until then. I started calling to let everyone know that we were going to meet Kadee soon! When 4 o'clock came, I had dilated a little more, but nothing like the Dr had expected. So, we came up with " a plan " I go to the hospital at 6. I needed to get started on the antibiotics since I tested positive for the Strep B, because the antibiotics needed to be in my system for baby for 8 hours! I didn't see me being at the hospital without baby for that long... Then, around 10 pm if I was still not progressing very fast, Dr planned to break my water. I told him I wasn't going to go to the hospital if I was going to be confined to the bed. I was dealing with the pain ok, as long as I could move around. So... we had a deal! And, a bet. He guessed Kadee would only be 6 1/2 to 7 lbs and I told him no way! That I knew she was over 7 lbs for sure! Cody told him if he was wrong, then he could buy our dinner one night. Dr agreed and said La Huerta. I just laughed about the whole "bet".
I go to the hospital. I get the antibiotic and am free to walk the halls. I couldn't go too far because they had to keep my blood pressure, blood sugar, baby's heart beat, etc in check. But, I was doing fine. Besides being soooo nervous, hoping things would just happen on their own. The reason why he wanted to break my water was because since I didn't want an epidural, that would be the most natural way to go. Everyone wanted me to get an epidural and after he broke my water close to 11 that night.... and my contractions became 2 minutes apart and stronger and stronger... I agreed to get one.
To sum it all up.... I started to push at 1:01 am and then stopped so the nurse could go out to get the Dr, then Kadee Alayne was born at 1:06! Amazing- I am STILL in shock about it- I didn't even push for 5 minutes. Right away one of the first things the Dr said was, I lost! (lol!) He knew he lost the bet! I told him after all that, I think he needed to upgrade from La Huerta! We're all laughing, even though the nurses had no idea what we were talking about. Then one asked and he told them the deal we had.
Aw, I fell in love all over again! My precious baby girl! How many times can a person fall in love in their life? I'm so blessed! I grow closer and closer to her each day. I'm so glad she finally came to meet us and when the timing was better and she was so healthy! 7 lbs 11 oz, 19 1/2 in long. *I love my family so much!*
Early on when we found out about being pregnant with Kadee, the air was much different than it had been with Zane. People were wondering why we were having children so close together? I tried to tell them that it hadn't been exactly our plan, but obviously God's plan for us! I can tell you that I wouldn't change anything! And, everything does happen for a reason. After Cody's treatments, there is a good chance that we can't have any more children. God blessed us because He knew what was to come when we didn't. We just need to let go and let God!
We are so excited for a new year to be here, yet once again, tomorrow looms over us. Cody and my grandma have appt's at the oncology clinic. My grandma is supposed to get the results from her cat scan... to see if the treatments took care of what remained of the tumor. As far as Cody's appt, I think lab and a visit with the oncologist. I adopted a family yesterday from colesfoundation and her name is Jayla. She is 21 months and diagnosed with AML. Again, everything does happen for a reason! I encourage you to adopt a family from http://www.colesfoundation.com/
I have many of my own personal hopes and desires for this new year. I guess I need to end this very lengthy entry, so I can go and be with the loves of my life! This poem means much to me and I hope it touches your life in some way.
Drawn To His Heart
The God you trusted in the past is the one who's faithful still.
Trust Him now, with all your heart, to be working out His will.
There's nothing that you're facing which takes him by surprise--
All the things concerning you have not escaped his eyes.
His hand has been your covering through every circumstance,
Everything will work for good; nothing is by chance.
Let your faith abide in Him just liked a mustard seed,
And you will find His promise true to meet your every need.
Wait on God to do His work in His perfect time and way.
The answer may seem slow just now, but He will not delay.
One day you'll see the wisdom that led you from the start
Was given by your Father's love to draw you to his heart.
~Roy Lessin~
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12 NIV